Bon Fire & Star light
9:55 p.m. - 2008-08-30

I got the most wonderful offer tonight and I CAN"T GO....

Wilf emailed saying he has the bon fire going in the backyard of his new house under the stars where I can assure you there would be lots of laughter, dancing and romance... And I can't go.

John is still home. And Wilf still has his girlfriend who is planning on moving in with him.

It is a wonderful offer and I can imaging being there as we were last summer and it was WONDERFUL.....talk about wishing you could be somewhere else and have that ok. But that is not reality and I told him to enjoy the stars for me regardless.

John and I spent the early eveing and the rest of the night not getting along. He is moving out Monday and I am going to try to go with him.....so far I have ended up in tears twice today. It makes tonight's offer that much harder to say no to though.

But I am being good, I am at home.The irony is that I asked John to come to my new house for a bon fire with me because I know how romantic and fun they can be...his answer was well it would not be my first choice and I don't really like them :( and it took the air right out if my balloon. You see I am a romantic at heart and I know how much our marriage really lacks not only in quantity but in real quality. And I don't have anyone to build those dreams with. That might be what makes it that sadest really....

C.

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